“Good Girl Sparkle Bottom!”

It’s really sort of silly in my opinion, but how and what to name a dog can be a daunting task.  Look around, there are hundreds of websites with different techniques on how and what to name a dog.  One can buy books on what to name a dog, get advice on how to name a dog there’s even dog name forums where folks can bounce ideas off each other when settling on what to name their dogs.  Is all this necessary?  They are just dogs, right?

Not so fast.  It’s said that over the span of an average dog’s life which is right around the decade mark, you will call your dog’s name between 30 and 40 thousand times.  That’s A LOT!  So, with that thought in mind, maybe there is some wisdom in taking your time when considering how and what to name your dog.

What did He Call That Dog?

Before we go any further, how does this sound being yelled in public?  “Heeeeeerrreee Sprinkle Toes” or “Come here Pumpkin Butt” or “Cuddle Lover, you come here right now!”…see what I mean?  Maybe some of these folks should have spent a little more time pondering what to name their dogs.

Here are 4 basic “ground rules” when thinking of how to name your dog.  The following list should be considered when determining what to name your dog before you ruin your dog’s self esteem and embarrass yourself  publicly by shouting what could otherwise be construed as a mild form of Tourettes.

• Pick a Name your dog can understand:  Dog’s speak body language and voice inflection, not English. One or two syllables in ideal.  Don’t go crazy trying to impress your friends. Your dog’s name is a calling card tool, not a gauge of social acceptance.
• Choose a name you can yell in public:  Pretty self explanatory here.  We’ve all seen those owners at the dog parks regretting what they had to announce at high decibels.
• Avoid names that sound like a command:  Just consider the basics when thinking of what to name your dog.  Avoid names that sound like “sit”, “stay”, “no”, etc.
• Pick timeless dog names: Rollie Pollie and Puddles are cute puppy names, but what will that sound like in 5 years?

No Pressure!

With these 4 thoughts considered, the rest is up to you.  Picking a dog name, unlike picking a child’s name allows for a wider “brush” of sorts where you wont have to worry about hurting someones feelings or keeping a family tradition.  Settling on what to name a dog should be a fun experience, sometimes how to name a dog can be a heart warming story.  The fact is how you name that dog will vary as much as the dogs themselves. Do you want a funny name, a cute name, a literary name, a masculine name, a famous name, the list goes on and on and should be left up to the individual owner.

The only time a dog’s name really matters is if they are a hoity toity show dog registered with the American Kennel Club.  The intent of this write up is to help the majority of dog owners, not the prestigious few whom need a litter and generational name like King Charles Spaniel Rover Dover III.  If that’s you, check out the AKC rules on how to name your dog.

L-O-L-A, LooooooLa

I am the proud owner of pound puppy named Lola.  Lola is a dainty looking dog with a deep bark.  When considering what to name her, it brought to mind the Kinks song “Lola” specifically the lyric, “Well she walked liked a woman and talked like a man”.  Our other dog is named Barney, for no other reason that he looked like Barney Rubble from the Flintstones.  I’ve owned almost 30 dogs and each one was named for the thought that they evoked, so in that spirit I might suggest the acronym B.A.P.O.H.

Breed- What to name a dog could be as simple as using the breed. An Russian Wolfhound named Ivan, as an example.

Appearance- A big, round fluffy dog could be named Bear

Personality- A smart, inquisitive dog could be named Einstein, or a slow moving, lazy dog could be Sloth

Opposite- Another good way of how to name a dog could be the opposite.  A Chihuahua named Bully or a Pit Bull named Cuddles.

Hobbies- Do you play tennis?  How bout a dog named Racket?  Are you a hunter?  How about Tracker?

How and what to name a dog should be a fun experience.  Everyone will have a different strategy for how to name a dog and although there may be disagreements on what to name a dog, the important part is simply that you have a dog.